I realized that me constantly living in the past or the future is the root of all evil (almost). The nightmares, the sleep problems, tiredness and of course anxiety. I realized if I don't pay attention to the present moment, the voice in my head keeps talking and talking and it's not always about negative things. Sometimes I am thinking about positive things but even that gets exhausting. It's like, I'm either too anxious, or I am too excited. Both is annoying because I never get to slow down. Often I can't even sit still and watch a movie. That's why I often feel like time is running by so fast. That's why I often feel like I am always on the run. Because I am acutally. My head is always somewhere else, never in the present moment and that needs to stop. And it became a habit. I do this automatically, and this behavior became so normal for me that, now when I try to break the habit, it almost seems impossible. But I'm not giving up. Because when I do manage to shut up my brain and just enjoy myself while doing my thing, I am much happier. I noticed that I laugh more. I have more fun when I just enjoy my life as it is right now. Yes goals are important. I can be very practical and very analytic. I am a master in planning and working hard and achieving goals. That's good. I don't have to give that up. But I want to enjoy myself while doing so. I don't need to be so rigid and strict with myself. I want to have fun. It's time to have fun.